I am the day that never was...

I miss a lot of things...
I miss what life was like in Michigan when we lived there
I remember in our neighborhood in Pickwick Circle, my sister and I could just walk out of the house and into our neighbors' houses, where our little kid friends lived, just to say hello. The door would always be open and we could come in and watch cartoons or play games. One winter, all the kids were playing outside in the snow. We were building little hills all over the street and the bigger kids were pouring water over them...I didn't really know why...until the next morning when we saw the line of cars driving out to work, as slow as possible, over each and every hill we had made the day before, which at this point had turned into a hundred little speed bumps. I'm sure we all got more than an earful about that from our parents...

Being a little kid
Elementary school - We'd breakfast at home, and go to school. 15 minutes for recess, where I had my juice and snack, and we'd shoot around on the basketball court; it was too short to play a full game. At lunch, we'd play a full game...sometimes, we'd switch it up; there was dodgeball, prisoner, suicide, butts up, football, etc. I'd wear out my new tennis shoes within 6-7 months every year...the soles were literally melted off and there was no choice but to buy new shoes. After school, we sometimes went home w/ our friends and hung out at their house until mom or pop picked us up. PE was always fun, relay races, other games, just being outdoors playing. Wednesdays, the hot lunch was pizza...i never missed one of those days in 8 years I think, except for when I was sick. Every year, we'd sell World's Finest Chocolate candy bars...and if you sold four boxes, you got to go to disneyland. Out of 8 years in elementary school, I got to go 3 times. The last time I went was when I was in eight grade, and a couple of us got in trouble for stealing stuff from the stores. I never got caught, but one girl in our class did, and she took me down w/ her. I got suspended for 2 weeks...probably the most BORING 2 weeks I have ever had in my life - no tv, no phone, no video games...nothin. And there's not really much to do as a kid when you're at home w/ nothing to do and all your friends are at school. I don't even remember how I could have possibly passed the time away. Not the fondest memory, but it's a memory that stands out from my childhood.

My Legos
Maybe this is how I passed the time while I was serving that suspension. I had an entire city built in the den of our house. People had neighbors, there was a fire station, police station, and a hospital. There was even a carwash, which of course had no water. I remember secretly wishing that they would come alive when no one was watching and just go about their daily lives. I think they enjoyed their city very much.

Sitting up late w/ the roomies
College...it seems like yesterday...yet it's been 11 years since my freshman year. I miss the late nights I spent w/ people, esp the roomies. We played video games, smoked and drank on the patio, made futile attempts to study the night before a midterm, we went to get food - usually at Albertos or maybe Jack in the Crack. We laughed late into the night and were almost always too tired to get up and go to class the next day. We even called a nationall holiday week, and all of the roomies ditched class the whole time. School was stressful, though I didn't really do everything in my power to reduce that stress, but fun nonetheless. I learned a lot about what it was to be a friend, to be open minded, to develop and cultivate relationships. I also learned the hard way...I learned what happens when you don't study, what happens when you're NOT open-minded, and also how to be a better person, because there were times when I was a real jerk. I learned a lot in college...things that have really shaped me into the person I am today. I wouldn't ever trade my college experience for anything in the world.

The LA Marathon
While training for the marathon, I'd do my long distance run on the weekends. I got a lot of thinking done during these runs. I'd spend QT w/ the people I cared about and it was just a really good release. By the end of my training...I was in probably the best shape of my life since I was in high school, and at the end of training, I was ready. The Marathon is probably one of my personal greatest accomplishments and I will never forget that experience.

I miss a lot of things in my life; a lot of things that have come and gone, a lot of things that are no longer, a lot of things that are just memories now, fading away into the sunset. I miss those and so many other things so very much...

It does not do well to dwell on dreams and the past; in doing so, one may just forget to live